"I admire YOU!"

Women, and specifically mothers, in today's society can feel shamed and looked down upon for almost every life decision they make.

Working mother or stay at home mother.
Nursing mother or bottle feeding mother.
Cloth diapering mother or disposable diapering mother.
Make your own organic baby food mother or buy baby food mother.
Special K or Kashi. (ok not really, but I had to make you laugh.)

People are so quick to judge and say: "I stay at home and we made it work financially. Why can't you?" or "I work 40 hours a week and am a wife and mom. You don't know what it's like to do all that." And so the opinions go. People of all ages and backgrounds offering their valuable opinions on decisions that you have prayed over, talked about, and made in an effort to do what you feel is best for your family.

I feel like I need to apologize when I tell people I stay home. As if I owe them an explanation of a personal decision my husband and I made together. As if they even have the right to judge us on this topic. Yet I feel this way. Embarrassed for not working. Worrying that they are assuming I live some posh life filled with shopping sprees, daily Starbucks, and soap operas.

If only they knew that it's not like that at all. And yes while you are right, I do "have the life all women dream of" (if you want to put it like that) and I am truly thankful for the privilege to be at home with my daughter on a daily basis and to be here for my husband after a 14 hour day at work, I still at times long to be in the work force. Earning a paycheck and utilizing my hard earned college education.

And while I, a stay at home mother, sometimes long for that affirmation and reward a public job brings, I know the opposite is true for a working mother. Longing to leave the workplace and be with their little one. Working 40 hours a week and pulling night duty too. I admire you! You work hard for your family and do what you feel is the best for them.

Before we make these judgements on whether someone is taking the easy road out by staying home, or doesn't understand the internal conflict of wanting to be home when they are stuck at work, we should remember that each situation has its challenges and difficulties. The grass really isn't greener on the other side. It's green where you water it. (Original, I know.) I think we have to believe and understand that women play a lot of roles as wife and mother. And most importantly we have to have an understanding that we make decisions that are best for our families.

I guess I say this to ask that next time you speak to a mother who works or stays at home, the best thing to say is: "I admire you for being the best wife and mom you can possibly be!"

5 Things You Should Never Say To A SAHM

Telling people you are a SAHM elicits all kinds of responses, some favorable, some not, and some just naive. I have had many people says one or more of these things to me. It doesn't offend me. It actually makes me laugh. I mean if my days were as some envision them to be, well, it would be pretty easy, but also, our house would be a complete disaster.

one// It must be nice not to have to go to work every day.
I don't have to physically drive to work, yes, but rather I live at work. My days at home are just another Saturday.

two// I wish my husband was rich.
So do I! I don't stay at home because we grow money on trees. It takes careful planning and budgeting for me to have this privilege.

three// What do you do all day?
Read to my baby. Clean toilets. Scrub Dishes. Walk the Dog. Do laundry. Play with my baby. Sing to my baby. Help her learn to take naps on her own. Meal Plan. Should I continue?

four// Your baby needs to go to day care to be socialized.
There is no substitute to the care a child's own mother gives. No daycare teacher can ever give my baby the time and love I give her every day. She socializes when we go to the library, the grocery store, church, etc.

five// Your college education is being wasted if you are staying home.
I beg to differ! I use the skills I learned in college on a daily basis: when I file our taxes on my own, when I create a budget to manage my family's money wisely, when I am efficient with my time throughout the day, when I increase my child's vocabulary and language skills by carrying on "conversations" with her.

What ever I miss in the work place, these two make up for ten-fold.

A Typical Day At Our House

I love routine. Who doesn't really? It gives you structure, something to plan by, and peace of mind. For me, knowing that I will be able to grab a shower during the early morning nap and that I can do some cleaning and tidying during the afternoon nap is comforting. Of course not every day does life go perfectly as planned or according to schedule. When I was doing lots of pre-baby reading, I noticed how each author stressed getting your baby on a schedule. With a schedule they know what to expect, and there find comfort in that.  So with that said, here is our daily schedule. It is what works for us. 

7:00 AM  We wake up, do a diaper change, and Nora nurses.

7:30 AM   Head down stairs for me to make a cup of coffee and eat my oatmeal or yogurt and granola. Nora usually plays in her exer-saucer. I turn the today show on for about an hour usually. This is the only time during the day we have the tv on, but it's my guilty pleasure.

9:00 AM   Nora's first nap of the day. She usually nurses again before going down for her nap. In order to keep the mess to a minimum, I clean up the toys and books right after I put her down. I know we will get them back out, but if I take 5 minutes to tidy up three times a day things don't seem to get out of control. Then I will usually blog, do laundry, clean some bathrooms or floors, or shower. 

10:30 AM   Nora wakes up. Quick diaper change and we will read books for about 30 min. Then we do snack time for her which is usually pear and apple puree. Followed up by playtime and lots of laughs.

12:00 PM   Time for another nap. Nora will nurse again and go down for a 2 - 2 1/2 hour nap! I then usually do what I didn't get to do during the first nap, walk the dog, and eat some lunch. 

2:00 PM   Nora gets up and is usually in a great mood. We play, snap some pictures and she will nurse. 

3:00 PM   We will go out to run errands, go walk at the walking track, or go to the library to gets some new books to read. 

4:30 PM   Ryan usually gets home and he takes over while I do laundry or something I couldn't do during the day and start dinner.

5:30 PM   Dinner Time. Sometimes Nora will sit and play in her high chair and we can all eat a normal dinner, but sometimes its the typical new parent: I eat super fast while he holds Nora and switch. Then its dishes and play time. We like to turn on some jams and make this time all about fun.

6:30 PM   BATH TIME! Which in Nora's book is the best part of the day. I am pretty sure she is a fish reincarnated. (just kidding)  She splashes and we laugh. As soon as she comes out of the bath it's lotion, diaper, pjs, and nursing. And this little baby is off to Dream Land by 7:30 PM.

7:30 PM   Finish up the housework, and start washing the diapers (if it's a diaper washing night).

8:00 PM   We usually will talk about our day, watch a TV series, or read.

10:00 PM   Goodnight! Time to rest up for another day.

Whew that makes me tired just typing it. :) 

What is your day like? 

Do you do anything to make life easier on you?

How Being a SAHM Changes You...

FOR THE BETTER.
I grew up knowing that I wanted to be a dedicated wife and mother. The kind that met my husband at the door after his day at work. The kind that invested 100% into my children. The kind that knew my kids friends, welcomed them, and even was a second mom to them. The kind that took pride in her accomplishments in the home. The kind that played the supporting (and very important) roles like budgeting, meal planning, cooking, and so forth.

I think this desire was second nature to me, because I saw it lived out on a daily basis. My mom realized the need for her to be at home with my brother and I, and for my dad. She quit her full-time job as a Pediatrician to stay home with us. I never EVER felt that my parents expected me to do exactly as she did. In fact it was never discussed. I believe I wanted the type of life I had for my future family and I saw exactly how important her job was.

Here I am today. I stay at home, and while the term "homemaker" is not exactly a popular word, I view it as a job title with as much power and influence as a CEO. I make the house a home. That is something that takes time, love, and sacrifice. I love my job. I don't just stay at home. I do so much more. I shape the mind of the future. I encourage and re-energize the workforce aka: my husband. It's a wonderful job and one that more women should be proud to do.

Being a SAHM or Homemaker changes you though. It teaches you lessons you didn't know you needed to learn and it takes humility and sacrifice to a new level. It's not easy to be home every day, and especially if your heart isn't in the right place. Sometimes if I am not careful, I could find myself feeling bitter. Feeling like I am too educated for this, that I'd like to be interacting with people of my same age in a work environment, that my husband has no idea what it is like to be at home all day, etc. Those thoughts destroy me and cause me to fail and fail miserably. I have learned that we are called to serve others. There is no greater task we can do, as a Christian. I serve my husband by making our home a refuge from work and stress. I serve him when he has a hot meal and clean sheets. I serve Nora when I spend hours reading and playing with her to mold her to the best young girl she can be. I serve her when I gladly change her diapers. I serve her when I wash and fold all her tiny shirts and pants.

It is truly my pleasure to serve. Oh, trust me, it isn't always easy, but it is always worth it in the end. Being a mother has taught me so much, and being a homemaker has taught me so much more. I am more content than ever. I am more appreciative for the ways God has blessed us as a family. I am learning what makes me happy and what I enjoy doing. I am developing new skills every day, believe it or not. (like photography! watch out folks!)

I want to encourage other women who stay home or want to stay home. It's the most important job you will ever do!