Wednesday, May 2

A Post on Life, Direction, and the Future

With Graduation just a few short days away, I am quickly beginning to feel reality smacking me in the face. In fact, it is more like the world is breathing down my neck.

Let me explain.

I am 21 almost 22. I am married to the most supportive husband ever and I am so blessed. I am hardworking, and graduating from a well-know university with a good resume and a great major.

What is the problem you ask?

The problem is that the world tells me to get the big corporate job at the corporate headquarters and work my way up. To make a name for my self, and to build my resume.

But I don't know if that is what I want. I mean I don't want to just settle for just any job, that doesn't use all my skills, when I worked my you-know-what off in school to be one of the top students, but at the same time, does any of that even matter really?

I want to be a mom soon and to share that joy with Ryan, and to be able to take care of my child every day, and lets face it, corporate America doesn't fit with those desires.

The problem is not that I am not happy working a "regular" job. I actually would love to work in a bank, or a doctors office or as a secretary.

The problem is that people have expectations of me that do not align with my hearts desire and {here is the honest truth} I am not strong enough to say to them, "I want to be a stay at home mom in 2 years." I won't say this, because I know the looks that will be on their faces.

I want the right job for me. Not the necessarily the best job there is out there. I want to have freedom to support my husband in his job and to be available to my family.

........

Life is hard.
I know this is just the first of many tough decisions.
But I know this:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

11 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel! People are shocked to hear that I want to stay at home because they thin it's a "waste of a degree," but you're so right. It's all about finding what you want and need.

    Allyson
    http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so challenging to actually figure out what I want for myself, Ryan, and my future family. It is so great to have found people who share the same desires as me and to read women's blogs who are great stay at home moms!
      Thanks for your encouragement!
      :)

      Delete
  2. How frustrating is it that now when a woman desires to stay at home with her family that she is looked down upon?! Wasn't the whole point of a feminist movement to be able to have the choice?! Ah, I feel bad that you feel bad telling people what your heart desires - and admittedly I sometimes feel looked down upon for not working. But honestly?! I would not trade staying home with Jack in his first year of life for a second!! It is truly a blessing to have that choice, people forget that sometimes and it is sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kay you are so right, society has just devalued the work of a mother. It is the most important and influential job on the planet. Moms like you are such an encouragement to me. Your posts about finding joy and happiness in being with Jack is what encourages me to peruse a job not necessarily a career so that when I have a little Jack of my own I can be all his or hers :)
      Thanks Kay!!

      Delete
  3. This is a great post, your honesty is infectious! And I went through the exact same thing myself with struggling to not do the career/job people expected of me after college because my goal was not to get on a career track. I'd encourage you to stick with your heart's desire! Family is so often undervalued in today's society and the fact that you'd value your family over your career makes you a rare gem. Go get 'em, girl!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bethany, thank you! Your encouragement means more than you will know. I think you said it perfectly, I do not want to be on a career track. I love seeing others who are just a step before me and to be encouraged by their faith to follow their calling in life.

      Delete
  4. I went through these same feelings 3 years ago when I graduated. I got a job as a personal assistant and thought that was all I would be. I told my boss my feelings of wanting a family, so when I got pregnant he wasn't surprised. After 2 years of working there he hardly wanted to see me go, especially since I had worked my way up from a PA to marketing manager, so he worked with me after I had my baby. He let me come into the office whenever i wanted and for however long I wanted. SOmethings i could get done at the office and somethings I could do at home. I did that until our daughter was 6 months and then it just didn't work anymore. I guess you just never know. I think you should definitely aim high and you might be surprised at how receptive people are to the idea of having a family :) I know I was surprised.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kendra, that was very encouraging. I think that that is my goal. I want to be in a fulfilling job while I do not have kids; one that allows me to use my knowledge an abilities and grow like you did. But then when the time comes, I also want to have the opportunity to take the more important job of being a mother. Thank you so much, each word of encouragement from women who have been there means so much. It can be a confusing time. :)

      Delete
  5. O my goodness, I know exactly how this feels! Sounds a lot like what I went through while I was still in college. While everyone was talking about all their dreams for jobs and what not, I knew deep down inside what I really wanted was to be a stay at home mama! I always felt a little out of place. I had my little girl the same semester I graduated and could not have been happier. I had my degree if I ever needed it, and now I get to raise my kiddo. yet even now there seems to be this "pressure" that I should be working now that she's older. You will never regret choosing having a family and raising your children over pursuing some title when the time comes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kate, it is such a challenge. Of course right now, I want a job, because Ryan and I want to wait maybe 2 years to have kids, but I dont want to be strapped in a career. I know my mom felt the way you feel now, she was a pediatrician for 4 years and then decided to become a stay at home mom for my brother and my self. She ended up staying home all through our middle school and high school years, but honestly those were some of the most important years. We needed her most then too you know. She always told other women, if you can afford to be at home for your children, it will make the atmosphere of the home 100x better. It is hard to live in todays world some times :/
      ~Clara

      Delete
  6. I completely understand how you feel. I actually put my degree on hold, my junior year, to start a family. It wasn't exactly what I had planned, but honestly... I already felt the same way you do. I wanted to be able to stay home with my kids. Even now when I say that... people are shocked. Or, it seems, look down on me a little. You just have to not care what other people think and do what it best for you and your family :)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by my little blog! I love your comments, each of them make my day! So Comment Away!
~Clara